This Week's Top Ten

Oh that I could remember (or that I’d immediately write down) all the comical things that Tadpole, my 28-month-old son, says to me! And oh to capture the hilarious tone of voice he uses! Here are a few from this week that I did remember or record…

TEN. Tadpole went downstairs, grabbed his toolbox, said that he was going to work, and then promptly put his toolbox on the table and sat down in a chair. When I asked what he was doing, he declared “I’m taking a break!”

NINE. While pumping breastmilk on my bed one morning, Tadpole came running in my room to say good morning. He took one look at what I was doing and shouted “Mommy! That’s a really big boob!”

EIGHT. Ever obsessed with my breast health, one day Tadpole seemed to take note that I was pumping and with a very concerned voice told me “You need to buy more breast pads to cover your boobs, Mommy.”

SEVEN. For several weeks prior to, and several days after, my c-section, it was difficult for me to bend or lift much. Partly due to that, and partly because he is a very capable big boy, I told Tadpole on a few occasions that he (not me) needed to pull up his trousers after peeing. The other day, I followed him to the bathroom to help at the potty. After his pee, he asked me to help him pull up his trousers, but I told him that he needed to do it. He replied, “Oh Mommy, you can help me, you are all better from your surgery now.”

SIX. We love Skype, and especially with Nana here have used it frequently to talk to Baba. One morning a few days before he was to arrive in London, Nana and I were chatting over breakfast and mentioned Baba. Tadpole’s ears perked up and he rather dramatically exclaimed, “I LOVE him! I do! I talk to Baba ALL the time on the computer.”

FIVE. I was enjoying a rare glass of wine at dinner one night when Tadpole asked what I was drinking. I told him, and explained that it was an adult drink that was sometimes served with dinner. He paused, studied my glass for a moment, and – as if he understood something about alcohol consumption – questioned, “Are you going to have another glass?”

FOUR. Still several weeks away from our trip to Florida, I asked Nana to help me remember a particular item I wanted to bring with us. Tadpole’s eyes got wide and he shouted, “I need to pack NOW!”

THREE. It’s fun to teach kids trivia about themselves and the family. Several months ago I taught Tadpole where each of us were born. The other day I quizzed him, and this was our dialogue:
Me: “Where were you born, honey?” Tadpole: “London”
Me: “Where was daddy born?” Tadpole: “Witchita”
Me: “And where was mommy born?” Tadpole: “Minneapplesauce”

TWO. We’d all been sick off and on since Christmas, so Tadpole was finding it even more exciting to use his new doctor kit. (“I’m a doctor, mommy. I’m a DOC-tor.”) One day, sitting on the floor playing with the kids, I asked Dr Tadpole to take my temperature. He shook his head NO in response, saying in a scolding-like tone, “No Mommy, because I took your temperature yesterday and you are just fine.”

ONE. Tadpole always has interesting things to say about the food I make. Yesterday, a few minutes after serving him a plate of mashed potatoes, peas, and meatballs, I asked how his food was. Without missing a beat, he replied, “You mashed these potatoes really nicely, Mommy.”